Blog

What to Do If Your Ex Isn’t Following a Court Order

Fri, 27 Mar 2026 17:09:48 GMT

Family Law Guidance for Ontario

Court orders are legally binding. Whether they relate to parenting time, child support, spousal support, or property division, both parties are required to follow the terms set out by the court. Unfortunately, situations arise where one party refuses or fails to comply. If your former partner is not following a court order in Ontario, it can be frustrating, stressful, and confusing to know what to do next.

Understanding your rights and the legal options available can help you take the appropriate steps to resolve the issue.

Confirm the Details of the Court Order

Before taking action, carefully review the court order or separation agreement that was filed with the court. Make sure you fully understand what it requires from both parties. Sometimes misunderstandings arise due to unclear language or different interpretations of parenting schedules, payment timelines, or other obligations.

If anything is unclear, a family lawyer can help interpret the order and explain what steps may be appropriate.

Document the Non-Compliance

If your ex is not following the order, it is important to keep detailed records. Documentation can be critical if the matter needs to be addressed through legal channels.

Examples of documentation may include:

Missed child support or spousal support payments
Text messages or emails refusing parenting time
Records of late pick-ups or drop-offs
Screenshots or written notes outlining dates and details of incidents

Maintaining an organized record can help demonstrate a pattern of non-compliance if court enforcement becomes necessary.

Attempt to Resolve the Issue First

In some cases, non-compliance may be temporary or due to misunderstanding, financial difficulty, or scheduling conflicts. When appropriate, it may be helpful to address the issue directly with your former partner or through your lawyer.

Options such as negotiation, mediation, or a lawyer’s letter can sometimes resolve the matter without returning to court. Addressing the problem early may prevent it from escalating.

Enforcement Through the Family Responsibility Office (FRO)

If the issue involves unpaid child support or spousal support , enforcement may be handled through the Family Responsibility Office (FRO) in Ontario.

The FRO is a government agency responsible for enforcing support orders and agreements filed with the court. If payments are missed, the FRO has several enforcement tools available, including:

Garnishing wages or bank accounts
Suspending driver’s licences
Reporting arrears to credit bureaus
Intercepting tax refunds or federal payments

If your support order is already registered with the FRO, they will typically take enforcement steps automatically when payments are not made.

Bringing a Motion to Enforce the Order

If the issue involves parenting time, decision-making responsibility, property matters, or other terms of a court order, you may need to bring a motion to enforce the order before the family court.

The court may:

Order the other party to comply with the order
Provide make-up parenting time
Require payment of costs
Impose additional conditions to prevent future violations
Courts take compliance seriously, particularly when the best interests of a child are involved.

Contempt of Court

In more serious situations where someone is deliberately ignoring a court order, the court may consider a contempt motion. This is a significant legal step and is typically used when other enforcement methods have not worked.

If contempt is proven, the court may impose penalties such as fines, payment of legal costs, or other sanctions intended to compel compliance.

Because contempt proceedings are complex and carry serious consequences, it is important to seek legal advice before pursuing this option.

When the Order May Need to Be Changed

Sometimes a court order is not being followed because circumstances have genuinely changed. For example:

A job loss affecting the ability to pay support
A relocation affecting parenting schedules
Changes in a child’s needs

In these situations, the proper legal step is to bring a motion to change the order rather than simply ignoring it.

Seeking Legal Advice

When a court order is not being followed, taking the right steps early can prevent the situation from escalating and protect your legal rights.

A family lawyer can help you:

Understand your court order
Evaluate enforcement options
Communicate with the other party
Bring the appropriate motion before the court if necessary

If your former partner is not complying with a court order, speaking with Rimawi Law can help you determine the best path forward and ensure the order is respected.

How to Talk to Your Kids About Divorce

Wed, 25 Feb 2026 18:54:18 GMT

Divorce is not only a legal process, it is a family transition. As a family lawyer, I often tell clients that while I can guide you through court forms, separation agreements, and parenting plans, the most important conversations you’ll have will happen at your kitchen table.

Telling your children about a separation or divorce is one of the hardest conversations a parent will ever have. There is no perfect script. But there is a way to approach it thoughtfully, honestly, and in a way that protects your children’s emotional well-being.

Below are key principles I share with clients preparing for this conversation.

1. If Possible, Tell Them Together

When it is safe and appropriate, both parents should tell the children together.

A united message reinforces one critical truth:

“We are still your parents. That will never change.”

Children take emotional cues from you. Even if your relationship with your spouse is strained, presenting a calm, cooperative front can reduce fear and confusion.

If joint communication is not possible due to conflict or safety concerns, keep your message consistent and child-focused.

2. Keep It Age-Appropriate

Children process divorce differently depending on their age.

Young Children (Ages 4–8)

Keep explanations simple.
Reassure them they did nothing wrong.
Emphasize routine and stability.

Example:

“Mom and Dad have decided we can’t live in the same house anymore, but we both love you very much.”

Pre-Teens

They may want more detail.
They may worry about practical changes (school, friends, home).

Be honest without oversharing adult issues.

Teenagers

They may react with anger or withdrawal.
They may ask difficult questions.

Answer honestly, but avoid placing blame or discussing legal strategy.

3. Be Clear: It Is Not Their Fault

Children, especially younger ones often believe they caused the divorce.

Say this clearly and directly:

“This is an adult decision. You did nothing to cause it, and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it.”

Repeat this reassurance more than once. Children may need to hear it many times.

4. Avoid Blame

No matter how hurt you feel, avoid criticizing the other parent in front of your children.

In high-conflict separations, this can be incredibly difficult. But speaking negatively about the other parent can:

Create loyalty conflicts
Increase anxiety
Harm your child’s relationship with both parents

From a legal standpoint, courts, including those applying the Divorce Act in Canada prioritize the best interests of the child. Encouraging a healthy relationship with both parents (where appropriate) aligns with both emotional and legal best practices.

5. Be Honest About What Will Change and What Won’t

Children need predictability.

Explain:

Where each parent will live
What the parenting schedule may look like
Whether they will stay in the same school
What routines will remain consistent

At the same time, emphasize stability:

“You will still go to soccer.”
“You will still see your grandparents.”
“We will both still come to your school events.”

Even if the final parenting schedule is not yet legally formalized, provide as much clarity as you responsibly can.

6. Expect Big Feelings and Ongoing Conversations

Your child may:

Cry
Get angry
Ask repetitive questions
Seem indifferent
Regress temporarily (younger children)

All of these responses are normal.

This will not be one conversation. There will be many conversations over time. Leave space for follow-up questions.

Consider professional support (such as a child therapist or family counsellor) if your child appears overwhelmed or withdrawn for an extended period.

7. Protect Them From the Legal Process

Children should not be:

Messengers between parents
Exposed to legal documents
Asked to “choose” sides
Involved in financial discussions

As a lawyer, I often remind clients: the legal conflict belongs to the adults. Your child’s job is to be a child.

8. Model Stability and Respect

Children learn resilience by watching you.

Even if you are grieving the end of your marriage:

Maintain routines.
Speak respectfully.
Demonstrate problem-solving.
Seek support for yourself.

The way you handle this transition will shape how your children view relationships, conflict, and change in the future.

Final Thoughts

Divorce changes a family but it does not have to damage it.

When handled with care, clarity, and respect, children can adapt and thrive. They need love, consistency, and reassurance more than they need perfection.

If you are navigating separation and need guidance on parenting plans, decision-making responsibility, or child support, consult a family lawyer early. Legal clarity can reduce conflict and less conflict means a healthier environment for your children.

Your marriage may be ending.

Your role as a parent is not.

And that is the relationship that matters most.

Top Mistakes to Avoid During Family Court Proceedings in Ontario

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 18:26:33 GMT

Navigating family court proceedings can be one of the most stressful experiences a person will face. Whether your matter involves parenting arrangements, decision-making responsibility, child or spousal support, or property division, the choices you make during the process can have long-lasting consequences.

As a family lawyer practising in Ontario, I often see clients unintentionally harm their own case by making avoidable mistakes. Understanding what not to do is just as important as knowing what steps to take.

Below are some of the most common mistakes to avoid during family court proceedings in Ontario.

1. Letting Emotions Drive Decisions

Family law matters are deeply personal, and emotions often run high. While feelings of anger, frustration, or fear are understandable, allowing them to dictate your actions can negatively impact your case.

Ontario courts prioritize reasonableness, cooperation, and the best interests of the child. Emotional reactions such as hostile communications, impulsive decisions, or refusal to compromise can undermine your credibility and make resolution more difficult.

2. Failing to Disclose Financial Information Fully and Honestly

Full and frank financial disclosure is a legal requirement in Ontario family law proceedings. Attempting to hide income, undervalue assets, or delay disclosure can seriously damage your case.

Incomplete or misleading disclosure may result in:

Court sanctions
Adverse cost awards
Court-imposed decisions that may not be in your favour

Transparency is essential, particularly in matters involving support or equalization of net family property.

3. Ignoring Court Orders or Temporary Agreements

Court orders and temporary arrangements are legally binding, even if you disagree with them. Failing to comply such as withholding support payments or not following parenting schedules can result in enforcement proceedings and harm your standing before the court.

If circumstances change, the appropriate step is to seek a formal variation, not to act unilaterally.

4. Posting on Social Media

Social media posts are frequently used as evidence in family court. Photos, comments, or messages shared online can be taken out of context and used to challenge your credibility, financial claims, or parenting abilities.

As a general rule, it is best to limit or completely avoid posting on social media while your matter is ongoing.

5. Poor Communication With the Other Party

Unnecessary conflict, aggressive emails, or inappropriate text messages can escalate disputes and reflect poorly on you in court. Judges in Ontario expect parties to communicate respectfully, particularly where children are involved.

When possible, keep communications:

Child-focused
Polite and factual
In writing, and free from emotional language

6. Not Focusing on the Best Interests of the Child

In parenting matters, the court’s primary consideration is the best interests of the child , not the preferences or grievances of either parent.

Actions that prioritize conflict over cooperation such as involving children in disputes or speaking negatively about the other parent can be harmful to both your case and your child’s well-being.

7. Attempting to Handle Complex Matters Without Legal Advice

While some individuals consider self-representation to save costs, family law is complex and procedural mistakes can be costly. Missing deadlines, filing incorrect documents, or misunderstanding your legal rights can lead to unfavourable outcomes.

Even if you do not intend to retain a lawyer for the entire process, obtaining legal advice early can help you avoid critical errors and understand your options.

Final Thoughts

Family court proceedings are challenging, but many common mistakes are preventable with the right guidance and preparation. Remaining organized, respectful, and informed can significantly improve both the outcome of your case and your overall experience.

If you are involved in a family law matter or anticipate future proceedings, speaking with an experienced Ontario family lawyer can help you navigate the process with clarity and confidence.

What to Expect in Your First Meeting With a Family Lawyer

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 19:47:36 GMT

The first meeting with a family lawyer can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re dealing with emotionally charged issues like separation, divorce, parenting arrangements, support, or property division. Understanding what to expect can help you feel more confident and prepared. Here’s a clear overview of what typically happens during an initial consultation with a family lawyer and how to make the most of it.

1. A Welcoming, Confidential Conversation

Your first meeting is a safe, confidential space. A family lawyer’s priority is to listen and understand your situation without judgment. You’ll have an opportunity to share the background of your case, your concerns, and what you hope to achieve. This helps the lawyer understand the key issues and identify your immediate needs.

2. Reviewing Your Goals and Priorities

Family matters are deeply personal, and every client’s goals are different. During the consultation, your lawyer will ask questions to understand what matters most to you, whether that’s protecting your children’s well-being, ensuring financial stability, staying in the family home, or navigating a peaceful separation. This helps shape the legal strategy moving forward.

3. An Overview of Your Legal Options

After hearing your story, the lawyer will explain the relevant laws and your options. This often includes:

Negotiation or mediation
Collaborative family law
Arbitration
Court proceedings, if necessary
Parenting arrangements or decision-making responsibility
Child and spousal support
Property division and financial disclosure

The lawyer will help you understand the benefits, timelines, and implications of each path so you can make informed decisions.

4. Understanding Costs and Process

A good family lawyer will be transparent about fees and billing practices. During your consultation, expect to discuss:

Hourly rates or flat fees
Retainer requirements
Expected costs for your type of case
Ways to manage expenses

You’ll also receive a general explanation of what the legal process may look like based on your circumstances.

5. Identifying Next Steps

By the end of your meeting, the lawyer will outline practical next steps. This could include gathering financial records, drafting a separation agreement, preparing documents, or scheduling mediation. You’ll leave with a clear sense of what happens next and what information you may need to provide.

6. A Chance to Ask Questions

Your consultation is also your opportunity to ask questions. Common topics include timelines, communication expectations, the strength of your case, or how certain decisions might impact your rights. No question is too small, your lawyer is there to support and guide you.

Final Thoughts

Your first meeting with a family lawyer is an important step toward resolving your legal matters with clarity and confidence. You don’t need to arrive with everything figured out, your lawyer is there to help you understand your options and chart the best path forward. With the right support, you can navigate this challenging time feeling informed, prepared, and empowered.

Tips for Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 20:39:58 GMT

Transitioning into co-parenting after a divorce can bring new routines, responsibilities, and challenges for any family. Even when both parents are committed to supporting their children, navigating shared parenting time and decision-making responsibility can take time and patience. The good news is that with the right tools and mindset, co-parenting can be productive, respectful, and centred on what matters most, your children’s well-being.

Below are practical tips to help parents build a successful co-parenting relationship after separation or divorce.

1. Keep the Children’s Best Interests at the Centre

Every co-parenting decision should be guided by one principle: the children come first .
This means:

Supporting a healthy relationship between the children and the other parent
Keeping personal conflict separate from parenting discussions
Avoiding criticism of the other parent in front of the children
Focusing on stability, security, and emotional well-being

When both parents prioritize the children’s needs, cooperation becomes much easier—even when disagreements arise.

2. Communicate Respectfully and Clearly

Effective communication is the foundation of healthy co-parenting. Parents should aim for calm, respectful, and child-focused conversations.

Some helpful approaches include:

Using email or text to keep communication organized
Relying on co-parenting apps for schedules, calendars, and shared information
Setting a “business-like” tone when speaking, especially during stressful periods
Keeping messages concise and focused on relevant issues

Clear communication helps reduce tension and allows parents to stay informed about their children’s activities, health, and progress.

3. Follow a Structured Parenting Plan

A detailed parenting plan helps create stability and reduces conflict. It should outline:

Parenting time schedules
Pick-up and drop-off arrangements
Holiday and vacation schedules
Processes for handling schedule changes
How major decisions will be made regarding the children

Because decision-making responsibility involves choices about education, health care, religion, and extracurriculars, it’s essential to have clear expectations especially when parents share these responsibilities.

4. Be Flexible When Reasonable

While structure is important, life can be unpredictable. Work obligations, illnesses, and school commitments may occasionally require adjustments.

Being flexible:

Shows goodwill
Models healthy cooperation for the children
Helps reduce long-term conflict
Encourages reciprocity from the other parent

Flexibility should always serve one purpose: supporting the children’s needs, not benefiting either parent at the other’s expense.

5. Maintain Similar Rules and Routines in Both Homes

Children adjust more easily when expectations remain consistent across households.
You don’t need identical homes, but it helps to align on:

Bedtimes
Homework routines
Chores
Screen-time rules
Expectations for respectful behaviour

Consistency helps children feel secure and reduces stress during transitions between homes.

6. Keep Children Out of Parental Communication

Children should never act as go-betweens for scheduling, conflict, or decision-making responsibility.
Parents should:

Communicate directly with one another
Avoid asking children to relay messages
Keep adult issues private

This protects the children emotionally and preserves their relationship with both parents.

7. Respect Each Other’s Parenting Time

Reliability goes a long way in building trust and reducing frustration. Parents should make an effort to:

Be punctual
Honour the schedule
Give advance notice if a change is unavoidable
Avoid using parenting time as leverage or punishment

Respecting the parenting schedule also teaches the children that both parents value stability and cooperation.

8. Seek Professional Guidance When Needed

If communication becomes difficult or conflicts persist, professionals can help. Family lawyers, mediators, counsellors, and parenting coordinators can provide support in resolving disputes and preventing issues from escalating.

Seeking help early can lead to healthier long-term co-parenting and better outcomes for the children.

9. Stay Focused on the Long Term

Co-parenting evolves as children grow and their needs change. Keeping long-term goals in mind—raising confident, emotionally secure children—helps parents put temporary frustrations into perspective.

A cooperative co-parenting relationship benefits everyone involved, especially the children.

Final Thoughts

Successful co-parenting after divorce is possible when parents commit to communication, respect, and child-focused decision-making. If you need help creating a parenting plan or navigating challenges related to decision-making responsibility, our family law team is here to provide guidance and support.

10 Things to Know Before Filing for Divorce in Ontario

Fri, 21 Nov 2025 17:23:11 GMT

Divorce is a major life transition that can feel overwhelming emotionally, financially, and legally. If you’re considering divorce in Ontario, understanding the process and your rights can help you make informed decisions and reduce uncertainty. Here are ten key things to know before you file.

1. You Must Meet Residency Requirements

To file for divorce in Ontario, at least one spouse must have lived in the province for a minimum of 12 months before starting the process.

2. Divorce Is Granted on Legal Grounds

In Canada, the most common ground for divorce is living “separate and apart” for at least one year. Divorce may also be granted on the basis of adultery or cruelty.

3. Separation Agreements Often Come First

Before filing for divorce, many couples create a separation agreement to outline child custody, support, and property division. This can make the formal divorce process smoother.

4. Child Custody Is Based on the Best Interests of the Child

Ontario family courts prioritize the well-being of children. Custody and access decisions focus on stability, safety, and the child’s needs, not on punishing either parent.

5. Child and Spousal Support May Apply

Support obligations depend on income, caregiving roles, and financial needs. Ontario uses federal guidelines to calculate child support, while spousal support considers multiple factors, including length of the marriage and earning potential.

6. Property Division Follows Equalization Rules

Ontario law typically divides marital property equally between spouses, with some exceptions (such as gifts, inheritances, or pre-marriage assets). The process is called “equalization of net family property.”

7. Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution Are Options

Court isn’t the only path. Mediation, negotiation, or collaborative family law can resolve disputes more efficiently, often saving time, money, and stress.

8. A Divorce Doesn’t Happen Overnight

Even with an uncontested divorce, the process can take several months to finalize. More complex cases may take longer, especially if there are disputes over custody or finances.

9. Emotions and Practicalities Go Hand in Hand

Divorce is both a legal and emotional process. Seeking counseling, financial advice, or professional support can help you manage stress and make clearer decisions.

10. Legal Guidance Is Strongly Recommended

Family law can be complicated, and every situation is unique. A family lawyer can help you understand your rights, navigate negotiations, and ensure your divorce is handled fairly.

Final Thought : Divorce is never easy, but being prepared makes all the difference. Understanding your rights and options in Ontario allows you to move forward with clarity and confidence. Contact me today if you’re ready to discuss divorce options: 613 779 1347

Why You Should Consult a Lawyer Before Mediation

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 15:43:08 GMT

Protect Your Rights and Ensure a Fair Agreement

Have you contemplated attending mediation to work out an agreement with your former partner? You should know that while mediation is encouraged and even a mandated conversation a lawyer must have with his client prior to commencing a court proceeding, mediation is not binding. Although, under the right circumstances, it can be binding. You should also know that for court-associated mediation, a limited free service, lawyers do not attend. You should never go into a mediation without speaking to a lawyer first about your rights. It is ok to not proceed with court and want to resolve your dispute out of court, but you should know your rights prior to attempting mediation.

A 30-minute consultation with a lawyer on a straightforward parenting/child support issue, could cost you around $400, a small price to pay to get the agreement right the first time. For more complicated matters, you should contact my office to inquire about a quote for a consultation. If you attend mediation without speaking to a lawyer first, you may be giving away your rights or entering into bad agreements. Finally, you should know that while mediation agreements may not be binding, you can apply to the court to turn your mediation agreement into a court order so it is binding. Call my office for a quote, if you wish to turn your mediation agreement into a court order

Will I Lose My Job/Do I Still Receive Benefits?

Mon, 11 Jul 2022 13:21:46 GMT

Will I Lose My Job/Do I Still Receive Benefits?

When you are the recipient of long-term disability (LTD) benefits, you are considered to be “actively employed” under the LTD policy.

While not carrying out the duties of your job, you are still considered to be an employee under the LTD policy. If your employer terminates you as a result of you being off work due to disability, you may be entitled to wrongful dismissal damages. The employer may take the position that you do not meet the test for disability benefits and attempt to terminate you for not returning to work but this is very risky on the part of the employer.

Whether you receive benefits or not depends on whether you are being paid LTD benefits. More often than not, it is the insurance carrier who makes the decision about your entitlement to LTD benefits. This may or may not be in conjunction with the employer. Some insurance carriers will employ third-party administrators to make the decision for them. If the insurance carrier/employer/third-party decision-maker denies you benefits, you will not be in receipt of benefits.

That does not mean you may not later receive benefits for that period if it is later determined that you were disabled under the policy for that time. Essentially, you will receive LTD benefits for as long as you meet the test for disability under the policy. Sometimes you have to commence an action to get a judge to agree with you or disagree with the insurance carrier, that you meet the test for disability under the policy.

The insurance carrier’s decision to deny you benefits can be litigated in court. Review your LTD policy for the definition of disability.

Call me to discuss whether you meet the requirements for LTD benefits.

Should I Appeal?

Thu, 23 Jun 2022 16:25:00 GMT

Before you consider if you should appeal, let's break down what that means.

Some long-term disability (LTD) policies require the insured to first proceed with an internal review of the denial before proceeding with an action for the payment of benefits. Other policies do not require this review, instead, some policies require the insured to commence with an action for the payment of benefits within 1 year of the denial, usually the date of the denial letter.

More generally, you have 2 years from the date of the denial to commence an action for the payment of benefits. It is very important that you read your policy to ensure you know when to commence an internal review and/or when to commence an action.

Whether and when you should “appeal” depends on the merits of your case. Call me to discuss your case.

What you Need to Know About Long Term Disability

Tue, 26 Apr 2022 13:01:22 GMT

Have you been denied long term disability benefits? Call me and let's talk about whether I can help you. Insurance companies often deny benefits on the basis that there is insufficient medical evidence to support your claim. In order to be approved for LTD benefits, you have to meet what's called an own occupation test and then an any occupation test. Insufficient medical evidence could mean you either did not provide enough medical evidence to support one of the tests, or the evidence you provided does not support one of the tests.

Proving disability is not just about the evidence in support of your claim. It's also about how you and your case is presented to the insurance company and in court. I will ensure that your case is presented effectively and that you are prepared to take on the insurance company. Rely on me and my experience in the area of disability law. You have been paying a monthly premium for LTD benefits for years so that when that day comes, you have something to fall back on. Do not let the insurance company get away with not paying you when you have been paying into the system your entire career.

Call me today to discuss your long term disability claim.

What You Need to Know about Spousal Support

Tue, 11 May 2021 15:05:02 GMT

Paying or receiving spousal support? Call me to discuss your rights.

Spousal support is a fact-based analysis where one-size fits all does not fit. It is based on your particular circumstances. The Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines (“SSAGs”) along with case law guide legal pracititioners in the Application of your particular facts to the law.

Before a spousal support award is made, two questions must be asked:

is there an ability to pay and
is there a need (entitlement). The answers to these questions depend on the particular facts of your case. It is not true that a difference in income will always result in entitlement to spousal support being met.

Generally there is a ceiling and floor when determining whether there is an ability to pay. An income at or near the floor may result in no spousal support being paid despite entitlement being met.

In answering the above questions, courts will then consider section 15(6) of the Divorce Act which sets out the objectives of a spousal support order:

Recognize any economic advantages or disadvantages to the spouses arising from the marriage (including length of cohabitation) or its breakdown;
Apportion between the spouses any financial consequences arising from the care of any child of the marriage over and above any obligation for the support of any child of the marriage;
Relieve any economic hardship of the spousal arising from the breakdown of the marriage; and
In so far as possible, promote the economic self-sufficiency of each spouse within a reasonable period of time.

Promoting self-sufficiency is often litigated however, whether a spouse has suffered an advantage or disadvantage during their marriage is an important factor to consider when determining entitlement. The above factors must be considered against all the other factors, the existence or absence of one is not determinate.

Once the above questions have been answered in the affirmative, the court will then go on to consider amount and duration of spousal support. Generally, the amount and duration is based on the income of the parties and the length of cohabitation taking into account the above considerations.

Call me and schedule a consultation if you have questions about spousal support, Ammar Hussein Rimawi Law 613-779-1347.

Family Law: Access Parent

Fri, 22 Jan 2021 15:54:29 GMT

Can you let your child choose not to see their access parent?

When a client is going through a separation, this is a question that I am often asked. Under most circumstances, the answer is always no, unless there are safety, well-being concerns, a parent is not permitted to acquiesce to a child’s refusal to see the other parent. Instead, the custodial parent has an affirmative obligation to encourage, facilitate a relationship with the other parent.

What if the child will not go?

The law requires the custodial parent to take all reasonable steps including but not limited to providing guidance, incentives and consequences. Children often do not want to do things their parents ask them to do like going to school, chores and visiting family. However, parents often set out consequences for their refusals to listen like grounding them, taking away the playstation, not being able to do a favourite activity etc. This is no different in the context of a child’s refusal to see the other parent.

I have often heard client’s incorrectly say that the child can make their own decisions at 12 years of age. This is very far from the truth. A child may withdraw from their parent’s control and care at 16 years of age. This assumes then that the child will be under the parent’s control and care until at least the age of 16. This also means a court could compel a custodial parent to facilitate, encourage a relationship with the access parent in the case of a child who is older than 16 and has not withdrawn from parental control. This forces parents to consider whether it is in the child’s best interests, in addition to whether it is cost-effective, to bring a motion or application to compel the custodial parent to facilitate, encourage a relationship with the access parent when the child nears 16 years of age.

Sometimes proceeding to court in the face of a child and parent who refuse to promote, facilitate a relationship with the access parent might cause the child to dig his/her heels in even more. It may cause current feelings towards the other parent to worsen. Sometimes it may be best to let the child come around on their own.

It is important for parents/children to understand that withdrawing from a parent’s control may have financial consequences for the child’s right to support. Speak to a family law lawyer before taking such a step.

For assistance with a family law matter, contact Ammar Hussein of Rimawi law at 613-779-1347 or ammar@rimawilaw.com