February 25, 2026

How to Talk to Your Kids About Divorce

Divorce is not only a legal process, it is a family transition. As a family lawyer, I often tell clients that while I can guide you through court forms, separation agreements, and parenting plans, the most important conversations you’ll have will happen at your kitchen table.



Telling your children about a separation or divorce is one of the hardest conversations a parent will ever have. There is no perfect script. But there is a way to approach it thoughtfully, honestly, and in a way that protects your children’s emotional well-being.

Below are key principles I share with clients preparing for this conversation.

1. If Possible, Tell Them Together


When it is safe and appropriate, both parents should tell the children together.

A united message reinforces one critical truth:

“We are still your parents. That will never change.”

Children take emotional cues from you. Even if your relationship with your spouse is strained, presenting a calm, cooperative front can reduce fear and confusion.

If joint communication is not possible due to conflict or safety concerns, keep your message consistent and child-focused.


2. Keep It Age-Appropriate


Children process divorce differently depending on their age.


Young Children (Ages 4–8)
  • Keep explanations simple.
  • Reassure them they did nothing wrong.
  • Emphasize routine and stability.

Example:

“Mom and Dad have decided we can’t live in the same house anymore, but we both love you very much.”


Pre-Teens
  • They may want more detail.
  • They may worry about practical changes (school, friends, home).

Be honest without oversharing adult issues.


Teenagers
  • They may react with anger or withdrawal.
  • They may ask difficult questions.

Answer honestly, but avoid placing blame or discussing legal strategy.


3. Be Clear: It Is Not Their Fault


Children, especially younger ones often believe they caused the divorce.

Say this clearly and directly:

“This is an adult decision. You did nothing to cause it, and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it.”

Repeat this reassurance more than once. Children may need to hear it many times.


4. Avoid Blame


No matter how hurt you feel, avoid criticizing the other parent in front of your children.

In high-conflict separations, this can be incredibly difficult. But speaking negatively about the other parent can:

  • Create loyalty conflicts

  • Increase anxiety

  • Harm your child’s relationship with both parents

From a legal standpoint, courts, including those applying the Divorce Act in Canada prioritize the best interests of the child. Encouraging a healthy relationship with both parents (where appropriate) aligns with both emotional and legal best practices.


5. Be Honest About What Will Change and What Won’t

Children need predictability.

Explain:

  • Where each parent will live

  • What the parenting schedule may look like

  • Whether they will stay in the same school

  • What routines will remain consistent

At the same time, emphasize stability:

  • “You will still go to soccer.”

  • “You will still see your grandparents.”

  • “We will both still come to your school events.”

Even if the final parenting schedule is not yet legally formalized, provide as much clarity as you responsibly can.


6. Expect Big Feelings and Ongoing Conversations


Your child may:

  • Cry
  • Get angry
  • Ask repetitive questions
  • Seem indifferent
  • Regress temporarily (younger children)

All of these responses are normal.

This will not be one conversation. There will be many conversations over time. Leave space for follow-up questions.

Consider professional support (such as a child therapist or family counsellor) if your child appears overwhelmed or withdrawn for an extended period.


7. Protect Them From the Legal Process


Children should not be:

  • Messengers between parents
  • Exposed to legal documents
  • Asked to “choose” sides
  • Involved in financial discussions

As a lawyer, I often remind clients: the legal conflict belongs to the adults. Your child’s job is to be a child.


8. Model Stability and Respect


Children learn resilience by watching you.

Even if you are grieving the end of your marriage:

  • Maintain routines.
  • Speak respectfully.
  • Demonstrate problem-solving.
  • Seek support for yourself.

The way you handle this transition will shape how your children view relationships, conflict, and change in the future.


Final Thoughts


Divorce changes a family but it does not have to damage it.


When handled with care, clarity, and respect, children can adapt and thrive. They need love, consistency, and reassurance more than they need perfection.


If you are navigating separation and need guidance on parenting plans, decision-making responsibility, or child support, consult a family lawyer early. Legal clarity can reduce conflict and less conflict means a healthier environment for your children.

Your marriage may be ending.


Your role as a parent is not.


And that is the relationship that matters most.

Spousal Support 101: What You Need to Know in Ontario

July 8, 2026
What Is Spousal Support?

How to Prepare Financially for Divorce in Ontario

July 8, 2026
Divorce can be one of the most challenging experiences a person faces, both emotionally and financially. While it's natural to focus on the personal aspects of a separation, taking steps to prepare financially can help protect your interests and provide greater stability during the transition. In Ontario, the financial consequences of divorce often involve the division of property, support obligations, and long-term financial planning. Understanding what to expect and preparing early can make a significant difference in the outcome of your case. 1. Gather and Organize Financial Documents One of the most important first steps is collecting all relevant financial records. Under Ontario family law, both spouses are required to provide full and honest financial disclosure. Having your documents organized will help streamline the process and reduce delays. Important documents include: Income tax returns and Notices of Assessment for the past three years Recent pay stubs and employment records Bank account statements Credit card statements Mortgage and loan documents Investment and retirement account statements Property deeds and appraisals Business records, if applicable Insurance policies Creating digital copies and storing them securely can help ensure you have access to important information when needed. 2. Understand Your Assets and Debts Many people are unaware of the full scope of their family's financial situation until divorce proceedings begin. Take time to create a detailed list of all assets and liabilities, including: The matrimonial home Other real estate holdings Savings and investment accounts Pensions and retirement savings Vehicles and recreational property Business interests Credit card debt Lines of credit Student loans and personal loans A complete financial inventory will help you better understand what may be subject to division. 3. Learn How Property Division Works in Ontario Ontario follows a property equalization system rather than a direct division of assets. In most cases, each spouse calculates their net family property, and the spouse with the higher amount may be required to make an equalization payment to the other. The matrimonial home is treated differently from other assets and is subject to special rules under Ontario's Family Law Act. Even if one spouse owned the home before marriage, it may still have unique implications during property division. Because property division can be complex, particularly when businesses, inheritances, pensions, or multiple properties are involved, seeking legal advice early is highly recommended. 4. Create a Post-Divorce Budget Your financial circumstances will likely change after separation. Creating a realistic budget can help you understand your future financial needs and identify areas where adjustments may be necessary. Consider expenses such as: Housing costs Utilities Transportation Childcare Insurance Food and household expenses Legal fees Debt payments Understanding your anticipated monthly expenses can also help inform discussions about support and settlement options. 5. Monitor Your Credit Joint debts and shared financial accounts can affect your credit score during and after a divorce. To protect yourself: Obtain a copy of your credit report Review all joint debts and obligations Continue making payments on accounts that remain in your name Consider closing or freezing joint credit accounts where appropriate Monitor your credit regularly throughout the process Maintaining strong credit can make it easier to secure housing, financing, or other financial products after the divorce is finalized. 6. Consider Child Support and Spousal Support For many families, support obligations are a significant component of the divorce process. Child support in Ontario is generally determined using the Federal Child Support Guidelines and is based primarily on the paying parent's income. Spousal support may also be considered depending on factors such as: Length of the marriage Roles during the relationship Income differences Financial need and ability to pay Understanding the potential impact of support obligations can help you plan for your financial future. 7. Avoid Major Financial Decisions Without Legal Advice During a separation, it may be tempting to make significant financial changes, such as selling property, transferring assets, or withdrawing large sums of money from accounts. Before taking any major financial action, consult with an experienced family lawyer. Decisions made during separation can affect property division, support calculations, and the overall outcome of your case. 8. Build a Financial and Legal Support Team Divorce often requires guidance from multiple professionals. Depending on your circumstances, you may benefit from working with: A family lawyer A financial advisor An accountant A mortgage professional A mediator Having the right support team can help you make informed decisions and avoid costly mistakes. Moving Forward with Confidence While divorce can bring uncertainty, proper financial preparation can help you regain control and make informed decisions about your future. By understanding your assets, obligations, and legal rights under Ontario family law, you can approach the process with greater clarity and confidence.  If you are considering separation or divorce, consulting with an experienced Ontario family lawyer early in the process can help you protect your financial interests and develop a strategy tailored to your unique circumstances. At Rimawi Law, we are here to answer your questions and guide you through each step of the process. Contact us by phone: (613) 779-1347

Common Myths About Divorce in Ontario

By Catherine Colasimone • May 12, 2026
A Practical Guide for Families Divorce is a significant life transition, and it is often made more difficult by the amount of misinformation circulating online and in the community. Misunderstandings about how Ontario family law works can lead to unnecessary conflict, unrealistic expectations, and avoidable stress. This blog addresses six of the most common myths about divorce in Ontario and explains what the law actually provides.

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